Want to get in Cheryl Cole's pants? Just ask her builders!

Urgh, gross, horrible, vile.

Just before she hopped across the pond to try and make it big in the USA, Cheryl Cole bought a house in London's posh Hadley Wood. When she jetted off to the US, she decided to get the builders in to make some improvements.

However, it seems as though she's hired a bunch of perv-tastic, privacy-invading cowboy arseholes.

An undercover reporter got wind of what was going on, and asked 'a source' about it. They were then told the following:

“Yes. Cheryl’s clothes. I have some of her knickers, some tops, bras. How much will you pay me for the picture inside the house? Give me an offer for both - the clothes and to go inside the house.”

Absolutely awful. If this is true, then someone is going to get arrested. And sued. Even if it isn't true, it's a terrible thing to even lie about.

Cheryl is a celebrity, yes. But there is no justification on this earth for rooting through a woman's underwear drawer and inviting strangers into her home.

Hopefully this turns out not to be true...if I was Cheryl, I would be stacking up quite the legal team right about now.

C xxx

The X Factor USA

Us lucky Brits are now getting to see the X Factor USA alongside our own original version, just one day after it's aired in the States. I watched the opening show last night, and I have to say I much prefer the UK version.

Maybe it's the way the US version is just that extra bit more OTT, or maybe it's the way you only see about 3 actual auditions in an hour...mostly I think it's a humour thing. I don't like Paula Abdul. I find her grating, in a way akin to feeling sandpaper dragged across my eyeballs. The 'funny' contestants just aren't quite as good...there's something off about the whole business.

I get the feeling that there are more contestants who are trying to boost an acting career or something, rather than actually wanting a career in singing.

Oh, and my major beef? CHERYL COLE. The Cowell said she looked bewildered on the panel...she didn't look bewildered to me! She looked comfortable, happy, funny and sparky. You know - like herself! In contrast, Nic Scherz was like some kind of wet lettuce. She doesn't have Chezza's mix of warmth, bolshiness and success tinged with her working-class roots. Basically, she comes across as fake, and it's jarring.

I really don't think I'll be watching much more of the series...Let me know your thoughts.

C xxx

Cheryl Cole and Ashley Move Back In?

The News of the World has a huge story today on Cheryl and Ashley Cole moving back in together at their £5million marital home in Godalming, Surrey.

It reports that the two spent their first night back together just having fun and relaxing in one another's company. Their source says "[Cheryl and Ashley] were saying what a special night it was. They were mucking about like old times just playing pool, smoking and having a few drinks.

"There wasn't any awkwardness between the two of them and they seemed very comfortable together."

The article is very quick to refute any suggestions that the pair actually did the deed during their night together, but does strongly hint that a full-on reunion is just around the corner.

This is just an extension of the 'Cheryl and Ashley Back Together' rumours that have been going around for months now...but it is intriguing, as this is such a bold claim to make. The actual text of the story focuses on this one night, so it doesn't seem as though the pair have actually moved back in together, which is annoyingly misleading.

However, It's much more substantial than previous stories in terms of the suggestions it makes. I guess we'll just have to wait for confirmation/denials from Chez and Ash's teams in the coming days and weeks and watch out for any sneaky paparazzi pics.

I hope it isn't true...because as they say, once a cheater, always a cheater.

C xx

Xtina's a Diva? Well Blow Me Down With A Feather!

It seems that all is not well in the land of TV Talent show judges. First there was the saga that was Cheryl Cole's will-she-won't-she X Factor drama, and now we have reports that Christina Aguilera is acting like a total D.I.V.A on the set of new show The Voice. And the other judges aren't happy about it.

First of all, the Stripped singer is thought to be earning a staggering $225,000 per episode, while her fellow judges are on the much lower fee of $75,000...to be fair, I would still take the lower wage. It's not exactly tight.

On top of that, Christina's excessive entourage and demanding personality have got tongues wagging behind her back. Our ever-trusty 'source' says;

"They are all so annoyed by her. Every time she walks away with her entourage, they talk about her behind her back. She holds people up and never apologizes. When the cameras are rolling, she literally won't shut up. It is all about her."

Oooh. Bitchy.

C xx

The Professional Equivalent of 'Never Liked You Anyway, And You're Crap In Bed'?

According to Cheryl Cole's mum Joan, it was Cheryl's decision not to return to the X Factor in the UK after her dismal reception in the US. Joan says "She was terrified Simon had become her puppet master and she was being turned into his new Sinitta - Simon's little pet. She is determined to carve out a career without him. He'll have to come up with something special for them to even speak again."

To be fair, ending up like Sinitta would be a fate worse than death, but the whole situation reeks of trying to limit the humiliation levels. By taking ownership of not coming back to the X Factor Cheryl can try to reclaim some autonomy and individuality away from the Cowell talent-making machine, but at the risk of cutting off her nose to spite her face.

You know when two people break up, and then one of them hacks into the other's facebook account and leaves messages like "I only went out with you out of pity" and " your willy is tiny anyway"? Yeah. That's what this looks like right now.

C xx

Finally, A Resolution!

Oh, happy days! We can finally move on from the tedious speculation over Cheryl Cole's future with the X Factor. The People newspaper is reporting that the Geordie beauty has been officially offered a main judging role on the US version of the show.

The main issue with her bid was that she is really not very well known in the US at all, wich execs at Fox thought would be a potentially huge problem. However, the response to the auditions has been bigger than expected, with many auditionees delighted at the prospect of meeting Cheryl specifically. A source cloce to Camp Cowell stated "If she can win over fans so early in her American adventure, she can become a household name when the series starts."

The deal is reportedly worth an estimated £1.1 millon, and will be signed off later this month. This is great news for Chezza, and it will improve her relativly unknown status across the pond exponentially. Maybe even J.Lo will know who she is soon...

C xx

Feel My Wrath, ITV Bosses.

X Factor bosses at ITV are shaking in their boots about Simon Cowell's confirmed departure, and Cheryl Cole's almost-confirmed departure. There are currently rumours flying that they intend to drop both Louis Walsh AND Dannii Minogue from the judging panel in order to bring in a completely fresh start.

Well, here's what I say to that: NO! Those two are the best things about the X Factor! Louis' totally irrelevant, snidey comments are pure gold, while Dannii has been the stand-out judge since she started. She offers great critique in a fair manner, underplaying her bias for her own acts by making sure to give credit where it's due to others, and criticism to her own. And just look at her hair! It's a chameleonic masterpiece, in a totally different style every week!

Chezza's shine is not as dazzling as it used to be, and Simon has gone soft. He's no longer Mr. Nasty, and to be frank, I'm fed up of his and Cheryl's cosy little whispering together act. Urgh. ITV, get your act together, and stop with the panic stations! Offering Cheryl double money won't keep her in the country, and throwing Dannii and Louis to the sharks is no way to improve your situation. MAN UP.

C xxx

Because She's Worth It?

While we are now all thoroughly bored by the ongoing saga surrounding who will be sat behind the judge's table for the US version of X Factor, no one is more over it than Cheryl Cole. After being strung along for months, with still no word as to whether she will be given the prestigious spot, Cheryl is now considering staying on the UK show. The reson for this? The fact that ITV bosses have offered to DOUBLE her pay packet!

The offer is huge, and Chezza will be absolutely rolling in it, even if the US gig doesn't come off. As the UK auditions are extremely close at hand, the pressure is on ITV to make some kind of announcement, which seems to be what has prompted their very generous offer. Of course, if the US team did decide to put Cheryl on the panel, there is no question about the fact that she'd be over there quicker than you can say..."alreet, pet?"

C xx

Jordan's On The Plane? In That Case...

Victoria Beckham found out that she was going to be on the same flight as her longtime rival, Jordan, back to L.A from London, and she decided to skip the hassle she was almost certainly going to get by changing her flight. She switched from Virgin Atlantic to an Air New Zealand flight half an hour later, and was accompanied in doing so by Cheryl Cole! Clearly the two women couldn't be arsed to deal with the drama that follows Jordan...sorry, Katie Price, wherever she goes.

Jordan tweeted on the plane "Taking off, people say victoria on flight, this is not true"...well...no, not any more love, she's avoiding you.

Cringe.

Dramz for Cheryl and Derek

A source close to Cheryl Cole and Derek Hough has spoken to The Sun about the pair's troubled relationship. Apparently, ever since their New Year's break in South Africa, things have been increasingly strained between the two. The source states that Cheryl has spoken to Derek and told him "they should not push things." At a recent meeting, the source describes how Derek was worried that he couldn't understand what Cheryl was thinking, as she seemed less tactile than usual, but at the same time seemed to be happy to see him. The poor lad just wants to know where he stands!

Cheryl has recently spoken to Heat magazine about her remaining feelings for ex-husband Ashley, and how difficult the last year has been for her with her divorce and her life-threatening malaria. Perhaps Derek just needs to listen to what his lady is saying and try not to push her too far until she's ready.

A Prettyboy Square-Off to Fight for Cheryl's Love?

The tabloid world is rife with gossip over the seeming fact that Ashley 'can't keep it in his pants for five minutes' Cole is trying to win back his ex-wife Cheryl Cole, who he cheated on FIVE times. That's not a one-off mistake, that takes some serious conscience-killing cheating skillz.Anyway, Nation's Sweetheart (c) Cheryl found new love with dancer Derek Hough, who looks gay as the day is long, but apparently is not. (She's got a type, hasn't she?)

'Sources' say that Ash is now so wracked with guilt at what he did, and so jealous of Cheryl's new-found happiness that he wants her back. He's ready to play on Cheryl's good naure, as she "feels bad if she ignores Ashley and still has a sense that she should be there for him." Personally, I think that's a bit drippy. For goodness' sake woman, he cheated on you so many times and broke your heart! YOU OWE HIM NOTHING.

Anyway, this has understandably pissed Derek off, and he's not prepared to let Ash muscle in on his relationship. So, the tabloid theory is that there's going to be some kind of showdown between the two. However, Derek's mates say that "He was raised a Mormon, so violence isn't Derek's thing and he isn't likely to behave like a thug, but he will stand his ground." Oh. Well that's boring. Hopefully he'll call Ashley and they'll have a strongly-worded argument, which will be recorded by the phone-hacking journos of the British Tabloids.