Feel My Wrath, ITV Bosses.

X Factor bosses at ITV are shaking in their boots about Simon Cowell's confirmed departure, and Cheryl Cole's almost-confirmed departure. There are currently rumours flying that they intend to drop both Louis Walsh AND Dannii Minogue from the judging panel in order to bring in a completely fresh start.

Well, here's what I say to that: NO! Those two are the best things about the X Factor! Louis' totally irrelevant, snidey comments are pure gold, while Dannii has been the stand-out judge since she started. She offers great critique in a fair manner, underplaying her bias for her own acts by making sure to give credit where it's due to others, and criticism to her own. And just look at her hair! It's a chameleonic masterpiece, in a totally different style every week!

Chezza's shine is not as dazzling as it used to be, and Simon has gone soft. He's no longer Mr. Nasty, and to be frank, I'm fed up of his and Cheryl's cosy little whispering together act. Urgh. ITV, get your act together, and stop with the panic stations! Offering Cheryl double money won't keep her in the country, and throwing Dannii and Louis to the sharks is no way to improve your situation. MAN UP.

C xxx