Frankie Cocozza axed from The X Factor!

Wannabe rocker Frankie Cocozza has been kicked off The X Factor.

The unprecedented move comes after he allegedly boasted about using Class A drug cocaine in front of production staff. Clever. Not taking drugs is one of the 'Golden Rules' of the show, and having broken this rule, Frankie had to go.

Although his legions of teenage fans will be devastated, it's probably for the best that he's gone - for him and for the show.

Frankie released a statement, saying;

"I'd like to apologise to Gary, my fellow contestants and everyone who has voted for me, but, as of today, I will no longer be in the X Factor.

"My life during the show has gone out of control and my behaviour off stage has over-stepped the rules of the competition. I no longer deserve my place in the show, so I am therefore leaving.

I would like to thank everyone who has supported me."

Well, it's a fine way for him to show it. It's one thing being Jack the Lad and taking recreational drugs in your normal life, if that's how you choose to live. It's another thing entirely to break an explicit rule of the competition that's giving you an opportunity to be successful and famous (...at least for six months) at the expense of others.

At least he had the decency to apologise. If he really has a problem, and hasn't just been caught having a cheeky one, then I sincerely hope he gets the help he needs. As a young guy, he's got a better chance than most to knock any burgeoning habits on the head. Best of luck to him in getting sorted.

The current gossip swirling around is that an eliminated act - Johnny Robinson or The Risk, most likely, will be able to fill the place and have another chance to prove themselves.

The X Factor representatives are refusing to make any announcements until tomorrow, so watch this space...

C xxx

Jedward do Eurovision...part II

I am so excited right now.

While I have been snowed under doing work that actually pays my bills, some earth-shattering news has been revealed.

JEDWARD. ARE. BACK.

After their storming performance in this year's Celebrity Big Brother, the loopy duo have revealed that they plan to build on this and their success in central and eastern Europe by competing in Eurovision for the second year in a row.

Last year, the boys dazzled us all in their glittery jackets, bouncing around the stage to Lipstick. I, for one, can't wait for round 2. I am an out and proud Jedward fan. They are amazing. They are fun. They are in no way serious. They know their lack of genuine talent, but they go for it anyway.

In a nutshell, Jedward ARE Eurovision. If they can restore Ireland to their Eurovision success heyday, I will love them even more. Let's face it, the UK is never going to get anywhere, so I may as well root for my ancestral home.

John, who rather unfairly is only represented by the 'J' of Jedward, said;


"Guess what? We're gonna be doing Eurovision 2012. It's totally awesome. We did Eurovision 2011 and since we did that we're known all across Europe and all across the world.

"And next year it's gonna be even bigger and better because we're in all these teen magazines, and we go all over Europe.

"Our song and album and everything is doing really well in all these countries, and we're really excited about doing Eurovision 2012."

Good luck, crazy boys!

The X Factor USA

Us lucky Brits are now getting to see the X Factor USA alongside our own original version, just one day after it's aired in the States. I watched the opening show last night, and I have to say I much prefer the UK version.

Maybe it's the way the US version is just that extra bit more OTT, or maybe it's the way you only see about 3 actual auditions in an hour...mostly I think it's a humour thing. I don't like Paula Abdul. I find her grating, in a way akin to feeling sandpaper dragged across my eyeballs. The 'funny' contestants just aren't quite as good...there's something off about the whole business.

I get the feeling that there are more contestants who are trying to boost an acting career or something, rather than actually wanting a career in singing.

Oh, and my major beef? CHERYL COLE. The Cowell said she looked bewildered on the panel...she didn't look bewildered to me! She looked comfortable, happy, funny and sparky. You know - like herself! In contrast, Nic Scherz was like some kind of wet lettuce. She doesn't have Chezza's mix of warmth, bolshiness and success tinged with her working-class roots. Basically, she comes across as fake, and it's jarring.

I really don't think I'll be watching much more of the series...Let me know your thoughts.

C xxx

Cheryl Cole and Ashley Move Back In?

The News of the World has a huge story today on Cheryl and Ashley Cole moving back in together at their £5million marital home in Godalming, Surrey.

It reports that the two spent their first night back together just having fun and relaxing in one another's company. Their source says "[Cheryl and Ashley] were saying what a special night it was. They were mucking about like old times just playing pool, smoking and having a few drinks.

"There wasn't any awkwardness between the two of them and they seemed very comfortable together."

The article is very quick to refute any suggestions that the pair actually did the deed during their night together, but does strongly hint that a full-on reunion is just around the corner.

This is just an extension of the 'Cheryl and Ashley Back Together' rumours that have been going around for months now...but it is intriguing, as this is such a bold claim to make. The actual text of the story focuses on this one night, so it doesn't seem as though the pair have actually moved back in together, which is annoyingly misleading.

However, It's much more substantial than previous stories in terms of the suggestions it makes. I guess we'll just have to wait for confirmation/denials from Chez and Ash's teams in the coming days and weeks and watch out for any sneaky paparazzi pics.

I hope it isn't true...because as they say, once a cheater, always a cheater.

C xx

The Professional Equivalent of 'Never Liked You Anyway, And You're Crap In Bed'?

According to Cheryl Cole's mum Joan, it was Cheryl's decision not to return to the X Factor in the UK after her dismal reception in the US. Joan says "She was terrified Simon had become her puppet master and she was being turned into his new Sinitta - Simon's little pet. She is determined to carve out a career without him. He'll have to come up with something special for them to even speak again."

To be fair, ending up like Sinitta would be a fate worse than death, but the whole situation reeks of trying to limit the humiliation levels. By taking ownership of not coming back to the X Factor Cheryl can try to reclaim some autonomy and individuality away from the Cowell talent-making machine, but at the risk of cutting off her nose to spite her face.

You know when two people break up, and then one of them hacks into the other's facebook account and leaves messages like "I only went out with you out of pity" and " your willy is tiny anyway"? Yeah. That's what this looks like right now.

C xx

Finally, A Resolution!

Oh, happy days! We can finally move on from the tedious speculation over Cheryl Cole's future with the X Factor. The People newspaper is reporting that the Geordie beauty has been officially offered a main judging role on the US version of the show.

The main issue with her bid was that she is really not very well known in the US at all, wich execs at Fox thought would be a potentially huge problem. However, the response to the auditions has been bigger than expected, with many auditionees delighted at the prospect of meeting Cheryl specifically. A source cloce to Camp Cowell stated "If she can win over fans so early in her American adventure, she can become a household name when the series starts."

The deal is reportedly worth an estimated £1.1 millon, and will be signed off later this month. This is great news for Chezza, and it will improve her relativly unknown status across the pond exponentially. Maybe even J.Lo will know who she is soon...

C xx

Feel My Wrath, ITV Bosses.

X Factor bosses at ITV are shaking in their boots about Simon Cowell's confirmed departure, and Cheryl Cole's almost-confirmed departure. There are currently rumours flying that they intend to drop both Louis Walsh AND Dannii Minogue from the judging panel in order to bring in a completely fresh start.

Well, here's what I say to that: NO! Those two are the best things about the X Factor! Louis' totally irrelevant, snidey comments are pure gold, while Dannii has been the stand-out judge since she started. She offers great critique in a fair manner, underplaying her bias for her own acts by making sure to give credit where it's due to others, and criticism to her own. And just look at her hair! It's a chameleonic masterpiece, in a totally different style every week!

Chezza's shine is not as dazzling as it used to be, and Simon has gone soft. He's no longer Mr. Nasty, and to be frank, I'm fed up of his and Cheryl's cosy little whispering together act. Urgh. ITV, get your act together, and stop with the panic stations! Offering Cheryl double money won't keep her in the country, and throwing Dannii and Louis to the sharks is no way to improve your situation. MAN UP.

C xxx

Because She's Worth It?

While we are now all thoroughly bored by the ongoing saga surrounding who will be sat behind the judge's table for the US version of X Factor, no one is more over it than Cheryl Cole. After being strung along for months, with still no word as to whether she will be given the prestigious spot, Cheryl is now considering staying on the UK show. The reson for this? The fact that ITV bosses have offered to DOUBLE her pay packet!

The offer is huge, and Chezza will be absolutely rolling in it, even if the US gig doesn't come off. As the UK auditions are extremely close at hand, the pressure is on ITV to make some kind of announcement, which seems to be what has prompted their very generous offer. Of course, if the US team did decide to put Cheryl on the panel, there is no question about the fact that she'd be over there quicker than you can say..."alreet, pet?"

C xx

"The One That Looks Like Justin Bieber" gets mistaken for Justin Bieber...

As much as it pains me that this is the first thing I put on this blog, it amused me, and it's UK-based, which are both good things.

X Factor losers One Direction were in LA a little while ago, and Liam Payne has just revealed that while he was there, walking down Sunset Boulevard, he was chased by screaming Justin Bieber fans. Now,  I know first-hand of this tweenage affliction, 'Bieber fever', and believe me, it aint pretty. Pre-teen hormomes are an uruly beast, and I sure as hell wouldn't like to be at the centre of a gang of Bieberites. Imagine the hair frizz, the start-out acne, the grabby, sweaty, palms....as Joseph Conrad so elegantly put it..."the horror! the horror!"

Liam said of what was no doubt quite an ordeal "It's a compliment, but I want to be known as Liam from One Direction, not Bieber. Think I need a change of look."

I couldn't agree more, Liam.