Jedward do Eurovision...part II

I am so excited right now.

While I have been snowed under doing work that actually pays my bills, some earth-shattering news has been revealed.

JEDWARD. ARE. BACK.

After their storming performance in this year's Celebrity Big Brother, the loopy duo have revealed that they plan to build on this and their success in central and eastern Europe by competing in Eurovision for the second year in a row.

Last year, the boys dazzled us all in their glittery jackets, bouncing around the stage to Lipstick. I, for one, can't wait for round 2. I am an out and proud Jedward fan. They are amazing. They are fun. They are in no way serious. They know their lack of genuine talent, but they go for it anyway.

In a nutshell, Jedward ARE Eurovision. If they can restore Ireland to their Eurovision success heyday, I will love them even more. Let's face it, the UK is never going to get anywhere, so I may as well root for my ancestral home.

John, who rather unfairly is only represented by the 'J' of Jedward, said;


"Guess what? We're gonna be doing Eurovision 2012. It's totally awesome. We did Eurovision 2011 and since we did that we're known all across Europe and all across the world.

"And next year it's gonna be even bigger and better because we're in all these teen magazines, and we go all over Europe.

"Our song and album and everything is doing really well in all these countries, and we're really excited about doing Eurovision 2012."

Good luck, crazy boys!

The X Factor - Who's Out?

So, after finding out the big twist this year is that each judge has to send home one of their own acts, I've just watched the emotional rollercoaster of ad breaks that is The X Factor elimination show.

So, who's got the boot?

THE OVERS

Eliminated....Jonjo Kerr

The X Factor's first-ever serving soldier sang a lacklustre version of The Kinks' classic 'You Really Got Me'. I really don't know why talent show mentors allow their acts to sing this song. Really. It has about a three-note range, and most singers tend to go extremely flat with it. It's not upbeat enough to get everyone going, nor is it slow and beautiful.

Don't get me wrong, I love the original, it's just that I've never once heard it work in anyone else's hands. Jonjo is a good singer, and he scrubbed up well enough to be this year's housewife's crumpet if he'd managed to make it past this week. Sadly, it just didn't come together for him.


THE GROUPS


Eliminated...2 Shoes

The loud, crazy, bright-pink-lipstick-wearing duo from Essex sang Girls Aloud's 'Something Kinda Oooh', complete with topless dancers and a pink convertible. They weren't bad, and we know already that the two of them have decent pipes. I think the staging overwhelmed them, and they were lost in the pink glitterbomb of campness. Although I did love the fact that at the end of the performance, one of them had her lippy smeared all over her chin and face. Amaze.

THE GIRLS


Eliminated...Amelia Lily

Kelly had a tough job with her decision. The girls is a very strong category, but favourites Janet and Misha were never even going to be considered to leave. That means that only Sophie and Amelia remained. Amelia's performance was good, but not great, while Sophie's was great vocally, but her personality hasn't been put across fully - always an issue for an X Factor contestant. However, Sophie has been a favourite of Kelly's since the very first day - she said that she wanted Sophie to sing at her wedding, remember?!

Give Amelia another year or so, and she might make it further - although judging from her face when Kelly said she was the one to leave, she's not the type to bounce back positively from the rejection.

THE BOYS


Eliminated...James Michael

It had to happen. One of Gary's Scouse trio was leaving. We all knew it. Frankie Cocozza was never going home, he's going to be a massive earner this year - the phones will be ringing off the hook to keep him in as he enthralls a nation of pre-pubescent girls with his 'cheeky chappie with an edge' persona. No matter that his actual singing voice is the weakest of all the boys put through. Craig and Marcus were streets ahead this week, Craig especially so, while James's low-key performance was genuinely interesting and engaging, but just not quite on the same level.

I feel for him, as he seems both lovely and desperate to do well for himself. Seeing as he can actually play an instrument, he might be able to come back as a vaguely credible artist...it all depends on him.

Let me know what you all think about the eliminations. Do you agree? Who's your favourite?

C xxx

Feel My Wrath, ITV Bosses.

X Factor bosses at ITV are shaking in their boots about Simon Cowell's confirmed departure, and Cheryl Cole's almost-confirmed departure. There are currently rumours flying that they intend to drop both Louis Walsh AND Dannii Minogue from the judging panel in order to bring in a completely fresh start.

Well, here's what I say to that: NO! Those two are the best things about the X Factor! Louis' totally irrelevant, snidey comments are pure gold, while Dannii has been the stand-out judge since she started. She offers great critique in a fair manner, underplaying her bias for her own acts by making sure to give credit where it's due to others, and criticism to her own. And just look at her hair! It's a chameleonic masterpiece, in a totally different style every week!

Chezza's shine is not as dazzling as it used to be, and Simon has gone soft. He's no longer Mr. Nasty, and to be frank, I'm fed up of his and Cheryl's cosy little whispering together act. Urgh. ITV, get your act together, and stop with the panic stations! Offering Cheryl double money won't keep her in the country, and throwing Dannii and Louis to the sharks is no way to improve your situation. MAN UP.

C xxx