Marvin Humes and Rochelle Wiseman engaged!

It's a match made in pop band heaven! JLS hottie Marvin and The Saturdays stunner Rochelle are getting married!

After a relationship which has been fairly plain-sailing by celeb standards - only one major breakup - the pair have taken things to the next level as Marvin popped the question in Barbados.

The happy couple both tweeted their happy news in order to let their fans know directly, rather than through any dodgy pictures or speculative articles.

Best of luck to them both! This eases my Brand/Perry split agony by exactly 3%.

I'll leave you to enjoy this picture of the gorge pair on their romantic holiday, and Rochelle's HUGE diamond sparkler! The ring is from fancy jewellers Boodles, and reportedly set the Marvster back a cool £50,000! Wowza!

C xxx

Katy Perry and Russell Brand file for divorce!

My life is over. That's it. Never again will I believe so much in a celebrity marriage. I am in shock.

Katy Perry and her husband of 14 months, Russell Brand, have split. Russell filed for divorce, citing 'irreconcilable differences'.

The pair, whose whirlwind romance saw them engaged within four months of meeting, and married ten months after that, have been the subject of speculation since their relationship began.

Personally, I've tried to avoid throwing negative comment on their relationship; favouritism, I know, but it's my blog and I'll favouritise who I want to!

Throughout their short marriage, Katy and Russell have spent long periods apart; he was filming the semi-ok film 'Arthur', while Katy was on her California Dreams world tour.

Russell's comment on the divorce was simple. He just said "Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I'll always adore her and I know we'll remain friends."

I'm genuinely sad for these two. They seemed so well-suited, in love and happy, but for the huge press intrusion in their lives. It's a sad day in the office at MCLairy Towers...

C xx

Lindsay Lohan has a modelling job!

After her recent Marilyn Monroe-inspired Playboy shoot, Lindsay Lohan has moved on to modelling for Jag Jeans, rocking a teeny tiny pair of hotpants and her usual fingers-in-the-mouth sex face.

Not going to lie, I love a bit of Linds, I really do.

This shoot was photographed by the same guy who did the Playboy shoot - Yu Tsai - who was clearly impressed by Lindsay's poses.

A press release from the shoot reads "As Jag Jeans' newest endorser, Lindsay embodies the strength and fearlessness of the woman of today. She is unafraid to be who she is. She is fierce yet exudes feminine grace."

I'll reserve judgement on the grace, but I'm massively excited for the return of the Lohan after her latest glowing probation report and the super-high sales of her Playboy issue.

C xxx

Ain't no dirt on THOSE shoulders.

This is officially my favourite picture in the entire history of the world.

There aren't words to describe my love of Kate and Wills. I'm not usually one to go all gooey-eyed over the monarchy, but they're just sort of...normal. And that's cool!

The young royals got down with the people at the homeless shelter they visited to make some lovely Christmas cookies for the 18th birthday of a resident! I wish they'd visit me, but alas, I have no landmark birthday or worthy cause.

Wills's technique is worthy of Jay-Z himself, while Kate looks like she's having a TOTES AMAZE time, laughing at her husband's expense.

C xxx

Angelina buys Brad the best birthday present ever

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt clearly like to keep things fun - Angie was recently spotted buying Brad a swearing parrot toy for his 48th birthday!

The toy is called Polly the Insulting Parrot, and Ms Jolie bought it at a toy shop in Vegas over the weekend.

The shop manager stated that 'There were 200 people in the store and they all froze when she walked in and just watched her shop.' That's a bit creepy, if I'm honest.

Anyway, I hope Brad liked his filthy-mouthed parrot pal. Do you reckon there's still enough time to get one shipped to the UK for Christmas?

C xxx

David Beckham: Angry.

David and Victoria Beckham are reported to be FUMING at the 'select group' of journalists they sent a private family Christmas card to after pictures of it popped up all over Twitter.

The family snap featured the four adorable mini-Beckhams sat in bed, while the back of the card read 'Picture by Daddy' - which is the CUTEST THING EVER.

I can understand that the Becks family didn't want the picture to become public, but I must say...If you don't want something to become public, don't send it to a whole bunch of journalists! There is no better way to ensure that something will instantly be shown to the most people it is humanly possible to show. Not one.

I think there might be a few people struck off the Victoria and David Official Xmas Card List next year. But - if you're reading this, Victoria and David, I would NEVER do such a thing. So feel free to send me stuff!

C xxx

Rihanna does not take kindly to public racial slurs...

After Dutch magazine Jackie printed an article about Rihanna, calling her a 'n**** bitch', the singing superstar hit back at Editor Eva Hoeke over Twitter.

Rihanna responded to the article in her usual highly effective, to-the-point style, saying;

"I hope u can read english, because your magazine is a poor representation of the evolution of human rights! I find you disrespectful, and rather desperate!! You ran out of legit, civilized information to print! There are 1000's of Dutch girls who would love to be recognized for their contributions to your country, you could have given them an article. Instead, u paid to print one degrading an entire race! That's your contribution to this world! To encourage segregation, to mislead the future leaders to act in the past! You put two words together with the intent of abasement, that made no sense…"N**** BITCH"?!….Well with all respect, on behalf of my race, here are my two words for you…FUCK YOU!!!"

Wow.

To be fair, if I was Rihanna, I'd be just as angry. Hell, I get almost that angry when someone spells my name wrong, so god knows what I'd have done in her shoes.

After a particularly rubbish 'IT WAS ONLY A JOKE!!!! HA!! ha...ha?' type apology, Eva decided, probably wisely, to quit as Editor of Jackie after everything blew up. Defos the best option, I think!

C xxx

Lauren Goodger's gonna wash that man right out of her hair

This is the hair tend that just won't die, isn't it?

The Only Way Is Essex's Lauren Goodger emerged from a marathon session in the salon yesterday to show off her new dip-dyed locks.

While I like the look when it's sported subtly by J.Lo, or with a cool edge by Rachel Bilson, Lauren's mane is just a bit too...obvious. The colour change looks very Stacey Solomon/Giuliana Rancic from a few months ago, and it ain't pretty.

I wish Lauren had gone for the glossy, healthy-looking brunette she's got on the roots all over. It would look much more expensive and be far more versatile. She's got a pretty face and lovely eyes, which dark, luscious hair would really bring out.

She might be trying to colour Mark Wright out of her life, but I don't think this is the way to go.

C xxx